The Importance of Breath

(featured image by Jill Badonsky, http://www.kaizenmuse.com/)

Even before the Coronavirus Crisis of 2020, I struggled with overwhelm. I have ideas I want to pursue, some strictly creative (bring me nothing but pleasure) and others are business ideas (usually something ridiculous like a pet rock for writers), and some are actually business (ie money-making) tasks for clients.  I feel like my brain is on fire, the neurons connecting at high speed. And I freeze.  

Now with the pandemic, it’s even worse.  I still have all the ideas, but also now I worry about all the things I have absolutely no control over from the current president to the stories about people dying. Alone. And so I freeze and I cry.  And I sleep sporadically through the night which only exacerbates my problems. Anxiety, stress, and sleeplessness don’t help me get anything done.

I have been able to DO some things.  I helped work out Zoom meetings for the Children’s Grief Center so we can offer support groups online for our grieving families.  I also started my writing sessions online (instead of at my local brewery) to connect with other writers, and I’ll be taking an 8-week writing class with two of my grad school besties to hopefully get my book back on track.  I also picked up two new clients! But….the overwhelm is still there.

A couple years ago I had a good therapist that helped me through some tough times, but she has retired and now doesn’t seem like a good time to go find a new therapist, so I thought I’d give meditation a try. I know several friends who meditate—I’ve always been scared to, for fear the negative voices in my head would take over. They were already there so I had nothing to lose.

Jill Badonsky, friend, artist, creativity coach, and Plume’s November 2019 featured writer who teaches meditation (among many other things) says it saved her life and continues to.  Literally. Although she has been meditating since the mid ’80s she was recently diagnosed with a genetic disease with a side effect of an aortic aneurysm a possibility. Her meditation practice, focusing on love, has contributed to her having surpassed the life expectancy for this condition.

I admitted to Jill that in my meditation attempts, I find it hard to focus, to not think about my To Dos, my grocery list, and the world, and she assured me:

“Everyone’s mind wanders! You’re not doing it wrong if your mind wanders. When you are AWARE your mind HAS wandered, that’s the work. To recognize it with compassion not tyranny.  That’s the mindfulness that removes us from the cauldron of doubt, fear, and judgment, from rumination and distraction, so we learn not to be yanked around by our inner drama, but to be curious and accepting of it. Then it neutralizes and fizzles out and leaves us free.”

I’ve been using a meditation app on my phone called Insight Timer, but others have also recommended Headspace and Calm.  Jill recommends Dan Harris’s Ten Percent Happier, and particularly meditation teacher Jeff Warren.

The guided meditations seem to focus mostly on breath.  Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.  It’s cleansing, rejuvenating, and calming. I’ve been doing this for three weeks, ten minutes max, and I’ve only skipped two days so far.  

I don’t know if it’s working yet, but it’s definitely a better way to start the day than the Covid-19 death count…

I’d love to hear of your experience with (success or failure) meditation, or how you manage overwhelm.  Or how you’re getting through the pandemic.

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For whimsical, beautiful, insightful illustrations and poems and inspiration, and silly questions and musings…. follow Jill on Instagram.