Writerly Envy

Green-Eyed

In the age of social media, it’s easy to look at other people’s curated lives of sunny vacations, spousal outpourings of devotion, and Pinterest-perfect desserts, and feel a little tug of jealousy. But what about when it comes to other people’s presentation of their accomplishments and habits in the realm of writing?

It’s another side of the same coin, yet it can be disastrous on a whole other level. If you see that someone is always doing fun activities with their kids and you feel like you struggle to do those same kinds of things, you’re not going to simply give up on your kids and do nothing, right? But writing envy has a way of creeping into your mind and settling there to whisper You’ll never be as good as she is and You’ll never win that award he just got.

So What?

We all know writers who are accomplished, successful, and maybe even rich. They may be famous people you’ve never met or someone you used to eat fries with at 1 a.m. in grad school. I know people who have won literary prizes, published books, gotten sweet writing teaching gigs, been invited to speak to other writers, had bestsellers, and just about every other writing accolade you can imagine. All this is not me saying I know important people. This is me saying sometimes I look at what other writers are doing and I want to lie down in the fetal position and just quit.

But why? We’re all a little competitive, a little anxious, a little eager, but why is it that we should feel jealous of someone else’s success? I realize it might sound like a platitude, but when you stop and think about it, someone else’s accomplishment doesn’t negate the things you’ve done or will do. Roxane Gay will almost certainly never know my name, but I am proud of the words I have put down and the readers I have reached. There is room for all of us, and success is not a single thing and does not have a singular path.

How to Keep It in Check

Know Your Triggers

If a particular social media site has you clicking nonstop and reading too much about what the other writers you know are up to, let it go. For me, it was Facebook (Don’t worry, I still use it for Plume, of course!). Getting out of there felt right for me on many levels. I still hear about friends’ projects and accomplishments; I’m just not bombarded with them every day, especially when I should be…writing!

Set Your Own Goals

Make a five year plan for your writing. What projects do you want to complete? What new challenges do you want to tackle? Do you want to publish and/or apply for things? It can’t hurt to try, but don’t beat yourself up if your skill set is slightly different from the local mystery author you saw speak at the library. Make small goals (I will write x number of pages per week/month) and big ones (I will finish this novel by the end of the summer; I will apply to that writer’s residency next year).

Let It Be

You don’t have to engage with every person who shares good news about their writing life, but it’s nice to sometimes. Maybe you believe in karma or maybe not, but it can’t hurt to put good energy out into the world, right? Then when you land an agent or write 5,000 words every day for a week, you know you’ll have other writers cheering you on.

Do you struggle with writing envy? How do you cope? Drop a comment here, or on any of our socials: Twitter, Instagram, and/or Facebook.We’d love to hear from you!